Unity Church of Dallas - Rev. Karen Epps

Rev. Karen Epps
Senior Minister

An “Ah-Hah” Moment

My turn in the rotation for writing the Minister’s Message comes roughly every three weeks. Each time, I remind myself that last time I decided I wouldn’t wait until the last minute to write; AND each third week, lo and behold, I do IT again – procrastinate. I am agitated with myself about this and began wondering why I continually put off writing the message. There are two other significant areas of my life which require considerable writing: long-distance Spiritual Director and the online Masters Program. In those cases, I write with ease and enjoy sharing my thoughts. I was baffled. Then during today’s morning meditation I had an “ah-hah” moment. The essential difference is between writing to and writing at.

When I am writing to someone or responding to an inquiry, I come alive. There’s a personal connection which ignites a spark in my heart and before I know it, several paragraphs are written. When I’m writing at a subject, it feels dry to me. The same characteristic appears when I’m crafting my weekly sermon. I am unable to rehearse it in advance because I can’t talk to an empty room. It just doesn’t work for me.

I believe the “ah-hah” moment is mystical. It is a point of awareness where my mind is quiet and like Isaiah, I hear the still small voice of Spirit. That moment is an experience of total alignment; body, mind, and soul with the Beloved, a moment of revelation. Now I understand that in order to embody my writing, I must write to instead of at you. So here goes….

Forgiveness
I am in regular correspondence with someone who recently inquired about forgiveness. Namely she wondered, “Is forgiveness of self the way to really feel, ‘I am Worthy,’ or do I need to feel ‘Worthy’ in order to forgive?"

I have been in the forgiveness business for many years. Like my friend, I was confused about which comes first, self worth or forgiveness. Different schools of thought will give different answers however, my experience has been, take the action and leave the result to “God.” I do not believe I could think my way into self worth in order to engage forgiveness. I needed to jump into the abyss first in order to let go of the resentment and fear from the past that plagued my present. Once that occurred, my ideas about “who I am” became divorced from “what I had done” or conversely “what had been done to me.” I began to get some distance from them and could see them from a different vantage point. In psychological terms, what was once subject became object. In other words, instead of being consumed and immersed in (fill in the blank) situation, I could see its contours distinctly apart from me.

The process is both painful and freeing. Painful because perhaps for the first time, I am required to fully acknowledge the depth and nature of the emotion I am feeling. Unity author James Sweaney wrote, “Psychologists tell us that often hidden conflicts and faults are the seat of our troubles.” By coming out of hiding and stepping into the realm of rigorous honesty all illusions about me and others are stripped away thereby bringing me face-to-face with the core wound. Then and only then healing begins. Thus, it is freeing. For once the issue is squarely faced and felt, the trap door is sprung open and we can cross the threshold into the sunlight of the Spirit. To what “God” do we leave the result? In this case “God” is not an anthropomorphic being in the sky looking down upon us and making decisions; rather “God” is the flow of life, principle, the Universe or the Beloved that through forgiveness work dissolves the disharmony and discord.

In my personal journey, I have used a variety of forgiveness modalities. While all have served me well, one very powerful methodology comes from Colin Tipping with Radical Forgiveness. He successfully integrates psychological techniques with spiritual dimensions and creates an environment where the individual can safely experience and let go of past wounds. While in seminary at Unity Village, Colin presented an intensive for our ministerial class. During the encounter, I “walked the circle” on a topic I thought had been long since released only to discover it was still there. In that circle, another woman and I embraced, sobbed, and stayed together until we were complete. I am at a loss for words to describe how I felt, other than to say, a weight was lifted and never returned.

My encouragement then to you is, develop a daily practice of forgiveness. If you have issues that require a therapist or a skilled facilitator, do yourself a favor and seek them out. Forgiveness is NEVER about the other person, place, or situation. It is about setting yourself free.

Hopefully writing to you will strengthen our connection. Whether I know you or not, I love you and am grateful we are traversing this journey together.

Love & Blessings,
Rev. K

PS: Colin Tipping will be at Unity Church of Dallas, May 15-17^th presenting both Radical Forgiveness and Radical Manifestation. Consider attending this intensive – it may change your life!

PPS: If you have a particular question or topic you would like me to write on, please feel free to email: revkaren@unitydallas.org

This “ah-hah” message is dedicated to Grasshopper

Message Date: April 30, 2009